Contingency Plans

Alex has had speech issues for his entire life.  He had hearing problems in infancy, and he was severly tongue tied, something that had to be surgically corrected when he was almost 3 years old.  Right now, our theory about his speech problems is that he had a stroke due to his premature birth causing nerve damage.  We already know that he has weak muscles in the right side of his face based on tests that his ENT did.  Today Alex told me that he has a plan for when kids don't understand him.  He's going to carry around a piece of paper and write to them when they don't understand him because, as he puts it, everyone can understand letters.  I think I'll go and cry now.

Alex is growing up

Today he lost his first tooth, his bottom, center right one.  It's been lose since Saturday.  He couldn't stop wiggling it today.  This evening I took him into the bathroom to have a look at it, then I asked him if he wanted me to pull it.  He kept wanting to know if it would bleed, and I said it would a little.  He didn't want me to pull it, but he asked me how to do it.  I explained, then after he hemmed and hawed over it a bit, out it came.  It was the first tooth he got, so it makes sense that it was the first tooth he naturally lost.

More on Mini-Me

Alex wasn't a well baby.  Around 10 a.m. on the morning he was born, we asked the nurses to take him for a little while so I could sleep.  When I saw him again, he was on IV's, oxygen, blood and heart monitors.  The doctor had discovered a heart murmur and he had tachypnea.  He couldn't keep his oxygen levels up and in just a few hours he had turned orange as an oompa loompa.  Already they were talking about sending him to Alta Bates for more health care.  The decision was finally made the next day when he had gotten sicker, though they had managed to start weaning him off the oxygen.

An ambulance was sent to get him.  There were 2 nurses, 2 paramedics and a driver.  They transferred him to a big isolate and wheeled him over to the elevators.  Pat wheeled me along with him.  When the elevator doors shut, he said "Good bye Alex" and I broke into tears. 

Pat followed him over there that night, while I tried to get my milk flowing using a pump.  When he came back he told me Alex was in the level 3 nursery and was being taken care of.

Once I was release, the next day, I was determined to go see him.  At the NICU ward, they has a magnet board with teddy bear magnets on it, each with the last name of the babies.  Alex had been moved to another ward.  He was on bilirubin lights and had a feeding tube placed.  I was so scared for him  He had lost so much weight, that he didn't even look like the baby I had delivered.

Alex had a long, expensive NICU stay.  Amongst other things, they kept drawing so much blood from him, that he nearly had to have blood transfusions. 

The day we brought him home we were required to spend the night before there.  They had a tiny little room that was even too hot for me to sleep in.  We found a fan and opened the windows, but the hospital was in downtown Berkeley and very noisy.  It turned out that, with the rush of getting him stabilized in the NICU, that the doctors had forgotten to do a hearing test which had to be rushed through on the way out of the door.

Alex's birthday

I knew from almost the start of my pregnancy with Alex that he was going to be early. We lost his twin early on, and they told us that we had a 30% chance of him not making it, 30% chance of being a preemie, and 30% chance of everything being okay. Alex came early.

I saw Dr. Dan on the Monday before he was born for a routine check up. He told me that, at that point, if I went into labor, he wouldn't try to stop it. At this point I was also to start seeing him every week. I tehn went to work. The next day I started to lose my mucus plug and on Thursday I knew I was in labor. I went to get my lunch and I felt contractions start. I called Pat on the phone to have him start timing them. I was bummed out as I thought I'd miss my baby shower the next day at work.

I went home from work, stopping at the Ace Hardware on Ygnacio Valley Road to get some screws to repair the mirror we were putting in Alex's bedroom. I got Rick, then we picked up a pizza. Meanwhile, Pat and Chris had taken Pupper, my dog, to the vet to find out what was wrong with him. They decided to run tests on him. Around midnight I knew I had to go to the hospital. When they put the monitors on me, they told me I was in labor. I got to walk around the ward for an hour, and when we had no progression, they gave me a pill and sent me home to sleep.

The following morning went just about the same, so I decided to go to my office shower, and to collect my final pay check. I said good bye to Rick, my boss of 5 years and we went to my mother's house. Pat took a limb off her maple tree while I lay on the couch in the living room. They took pupper down to get his test results and decided to have him put down. Then we went to Sears to buy a preemie outfit for Alex.

When we went to the hospital for the third time, I was ready to cry when they sent me home. Contractions were 5 minutes apart with still no progression. Around 12:30 that night I woke with a start. I felt my water start to balloon out and I barely made it into the bathroom. I screamed for Pat. We got into bed together and the first big contractions hit. I didn't know how big they could be. We headed for the hospital where they could no longer turn me away.

I tried to labor in the shower but Alex was sunny side up and I had bad back labor. After several bouts of nausea I finally agreed to the epidural around3 in the morning, only after demanding a c-section NOW. The nurse laughed at my demands. I managed to rest until about 5
+ when it was time to push. I was given an oxygen mask because my O2 levels were really low. It took about an hour to get him out. He was given oxygen and then passed to me. He barely weighed 5 pounds.

Definitions by Mini-Me

Weepy Eye = Onion

Pre-School Graduation

Mini-Me graduated from Pre-School last night. The ceremony was simple. The kindergarden kids came in and presented their parents with flowers to thank them for bringing them to school. Then the pre-school came in with a poem and 2 songs. Mini-Me was hilarious to watch as he kept pulling his shirt up and exposing his belly because he was so nervous. Then awards were presented. To my surprise I was named Parent of the Year for the time I volunteer there. I usually spend about 1 1/2 hours of a 3 1/2 hour day there reading stories and dancing with the kids and so forth. Then the kindergardeners came in in yellow gowns and mortar boards with blue sashes. They were awarded their diplomas and the ceremony concluded.



I will miss the time I spend in the mornings with Alex's class. I hope Miss Tracie will let me continue in the fall. I was never an official volunteer; I just showed up to drop off or pick up Alex, saw where help was needed and did it.

Speech Therapy

Since Mini-Me was 2 years, 7 months old we have been making a weekly pilgrimage to Children's Hospital Oakland in Pleasanton for Speech Therapy. Alex has many speech issues, mostly related to the fact that he was nearly deaf his first year due to ear infections, and also because he was tongue tied. He had ear tubes at 15 months of age, but the damage had been done.



Mini-Me's first speech therapist, Monica, had a hard time working with him. Her idea of therapy was to have him run through picture cards, having him repeat a sound over and over with different pictures illustrating the sound. His reward was, at the end of the session, to play with her toys but it was hard for him waiting for a big payoff at the end of the session. During this time, he also had a frenulectomy, freeing up his tongue to enable more normal sounds.



Ten months later Monica left and we switched to Joyce. Joyce was a Godsend. She knew how to work with Alex by giving him little play times between short bouts of work. His speech started to take off. Now in September Alex will be stopping speech with Joyce, I will be glad to see him graduate, but I will truly miss Joyce.

Pump it Up

Tomorrow is Mini-Me's pre-school graduation celebratory field trip. We're taking the 20 members of the junior kindergarden and the 10 students in the kindergarden to Pump it Up in Antioch for a morning of jumping and a luncheon of pizza and juice. Alex loves going there. Unfortunately, he also loves me doing all the jumpers with him so I don't know how well I will be able to stay in my supervisory role. On the other hand, we have never gone with friends so this time he'll have someone he knows (other than me of course) to play with.

Pump it up gives me a headache. In one room they have a giant slide, a small obstacle course and a basketball jumper. In the other room they have another obstacle course, a standard jumper and a big round one with with a mushroom like object in the midde which we generally use to play king of the hill. All these objects are powered by omnipresent blowers whining away. Then add 30 crazy kids running and playing and screaming and crying and laughing. And over it all plays an incessant form of muzak seemingly designed to do nothing but encourage you to leave the play area for some peace and quiet.

Yes, being a parent volunteer can be a pain, but it also has its advantages. You see, by helping out at the school, I get certain favors in return. For example, when I need Alex to stay later, or to be dropped off earlier, they can hardly refuse the parent who's there when they need an extra hand, which is something I will use of this Thursday when I have my arthrogram.

You know you're a mom when...

...you have a little boy with a high fever, sleeping in your bed, inches from your face, breathing germs all over you. Poor Mini-Me. He's snuggled into a chair with his bed and a glass of juice with plenty of ice. He's complaining that his tummy hurts, but he isn't vomiting. Oh well, I've just been paged for more juice.

Mini-Me

When Trouble-Maker came home from school yesterday, Mini-Me wanted to play with him. I told him no, he kept whining. I told him no again. Then he went into his room and decided to pull his chest of drawers down on himself. If I hadn't seen it come down he would be dead right now. As it was, a drawer came out and hit him on the forehead. He had to have 3 stitches and will probably have a big scar. We'll have to see a plastic surgeon is 6 months. I'm scared and I blame myself. I should have told him no and let him down easier. We have to fix that room now.

Kipper the Dog

This kids show has entranced my youngest son Bun. It is the story of Kipper, a brown dog, and his various friends. His best friend is Tiger, a grey dog, and he also has, for friends, Jake, Pig and Arnold. Mouse lives with Pig, and he had pet gerbil named Roly Poly in one episode.

Kipper is an unusual show for kids. It's very quiet and nothing too bad ever happens. Pat has a problem with one episode, when Mouse joins the cast, and Mouse is seen washing her bottom with Kipper's toothbrush. Later on Kipper brushes his teeth with the brush. Pat always watches it, the squirms and complains about the affair. EVERY SINGLE TIME.

I enjoy reading the books to the kids because the illustrations are simple and to the point. The pictures focus on Kipper and whatever he is interacting with at the moment. No backgrounds and no borders. My kids follow along with the story better this way because there's nothing to confuse them with.

My Library

The Pittsburg library is a location where I have spent a good percentage of my life. I can easily claim to have been going there for 30 years, but it may be more, but not that much more. From the story book section as a child to teen romance and Anne of Green Gables as an adolescent, to the research section as an undergrad, I know my library in and out.

Right now, I can thank my library for saving me a small fortune in audio books. Pat has a long commute, two hours a day. He has an I-Pod that I keep filled with audiobooks to ease his time. Considering that the average cost of an audiobook on I-Tunes is $20 and Pat goes through two to three a week, I save about $60 a week, just on audiobooks.

I also save on my books. How many times have you bought a book, brought it home, and by the time you get around to reading it you find that you really don't like the book at all. Now I check any new books that I might want to buy out of the library first, a test drive so to speak. Then, after I return it, if I want to read it again I will add it to my library

Also, I save a lot on movie rentals. Not only do I try to get new releases, but also the classics that we feel we should see. This allows us to take chances without financial risk. We don't have to question if we really want to spend our money on said book / movie, we just get it free.

Now I find myself going full circle back to the children's room. I love watching Mini-Me and Bun listening to story time and checking out books just as I used to do. The city wanted to move the library a while back, but the funding for a new building fell through. I'm glad because I live my old library.

Small Parts

I hate toys with small parts. Now, I don't mind the kids having die cast cars, blocks, card games and the like. They're a part of childhood. What I do mind is when they dump them on the ground then wander off. I don't know if Bun likes the sound or if he just wants to make me mad. It frustrates me because I feel helpless as I want them to play, just not to make a mess. Daniel doesn't understand how to clean up. Alex does, but getting him to do it is like herding cats. I can do it twice as fast when I do it alone. So, I do it myself and feel martyred over it or I ask Pat to do it when I'm putting the kids to bed then get upset when he doesn't. Oh well. They'll grow up eventually.

Reading

I read to Mini-Me and Bun by the hour. We cover armfuls of material from the Berenstain Bears, to Froggy, Dr. Seuss and High-5 Magazine. I usually don't mind reading to the kids, except for the times when Bun starts turning pages in mid read, or when he wants me to read one page then skip 5 then read another. I know this is what's best for their language development. It also gives me a secret sense of pride that my kids listen to the teacher in story time and can answer the questions about what's being read. My only rule is to not get any books that I would hate to read. After all, if I'm not going to read it, why should I frustrate the kids by having those books around to begin with.

A Parent's Identity

As a student I could always identify myself by name and by year in school. In college I could throw my major in for another piece of identification. In corporate America I had a title and an office where I worked to show the world who I was. Now, as a parent to boys with an increasingly large social circle, I have found a new title. At school events I find the introduction going as follows - Hi, I'm Mini-Me's mom, or I'm Stephanie, Bun's mom, how are you. So, now, my identity revolves around my children, perhaps more than I feel comfortable with right now. Still, when I think about it, it's not that bad. I am doing what is most important right now, taking care of people who can't take care of themselves, which described my job in corporate America as well.