Tomorrow I get to host a play date for Alex, with his good friend Nathan, and, for the first time, I won't have another mom present. Part of me is looking forward to this, that way there's no struggle to keep conversation going while watching the kids, or needing to justify Daniel's odd behavior. Still, I miss being able to talk to other mommies.
And this also reminds me of how alone I feel lately. Pat will be coming home early tomorrow and spending his time with Rick. I have to force him to spend time with Alex and Daniel and I hate it. He never volunteers to spend time with them. Of course, he'll be with Rick tomorrow out of necessity. Rick needs to go to Concord to get a form signed, but I offered him a ride there today and he declined. Tomorrow Rick will tell Pat that I didn't offer him the ride, and that I'm interfering with him becoming an Eagle Scout. Then, as Pat's greatest hope in life is for Rick to become an Eagle Scout, it will turn into Pat and Rick against me. I'll be asked, "Why don't you want Rick to be an Eagle Scout. Why do you hate him so much? Why don't you ever do anything for him?" I offered to drive him today. Tomorrow I'll be busy with a playdate I scheduled Sunday night which is WHY I offered to drive him today, since I would be busy tomorrow. But, nope, it'll be me trying to make trouble, not me holding to a commitment I already made. It'll be me hating Rick and favoring Alex again. oh well.
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Monday, August 2, 2010
Uncle Ray
My uncle had heart valve replacement surgery, so cousins, this ones for you.
According to my grandmother, both sides of the family wanted Ray and Katherine to get together. Finally, in my grandmother's opinion, God intervened. Katherine's family's cabin was hit by a falling tree and someone was needed to repair the porch. Naturally, Ray was called in. He was already related through his brother's marriage to Norma, and he was a journeyman carpenter.
In Fresno, it's so hot in the summer that having a cabin in the mountains makes life almost bearable, being able to get out of the heat. But the family wanted Ray and Katherine to get together so badly, that they toughed it out in sweltering Fresno just to let them be alone as Ray fixed the porch.
They got to know each other, and were finally engaged during Thanksgiving week of 1959. They were married between Christmas and New Years of that year.
According to my grandmother, both sides of the family wanted Ray and Katherine to get together. Finally, in my grandmother's opinion, God intervened. Katherine's family's cabin was hit by a falling tree and someone was needed to repair the porch. Naturally, Ray was called in. He was already related through his brother's marriage to Norma, and he was a journeyman carpenter.
In Fresno, it's so hot in the summer that having a cabin in the mountains makes life almost bearable, being able to get out of the heat. But the family wanted Ray and Katherine to get together so badly, that they toughed it out in sweltering Fresno just to let them be alone as Ray fixed the porch.
They got to know each other, and were finally engaged during Thanksgiving week of 1959. They were married between Christmas and New Years of that year.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Father Memories
My dad was a strange man, and simple things amused him. He used to love maps and to plot out the way we were to go on a trip. In 1993 we went on vacation to Las Vegas, mainly to appease my brother who was fascinated with gambling. It was a trip we couldn't afford but we went. As usual, Steve went and got a road atlas and started mapping the trip. As he studied the maps he noticed two, rather unusually named, mountains - Nellie's Nipple and Squaw Tit. I don't remember what we saw on that trip to Sin City, but I remember those two, politically incorrect, peaks seen in the distance as we sped down the highway, and the glee with. which my father looked forward to seeing them
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Sunday
So, I don't want to turn this into a rotator cuff blog, but it's what pervades my thoughts right now. It's weird. I have an arm full of cortisone so it doesn't hurt. So, perversely, I wonder if my arm is now healed. I know the cortisone is supposed to stop it hurting, but still I wonder.
With my nephew having been gone for nearly 3 weeks, I find that his wife is finally grieving. I'm angry with her simply for putting Robert through the pain in their relationship. I know that Robert was no angel, however, he didn't move in with someone else like his wife did. I have yet to grieve for Robert. Instead I grieve for his daughter without a father and for his father without a son, and especially for his father having had to see what a father should never see. At least he didn't take Butch with him.
With my nephew having been gone for nearly 3 weeks, I find that his wife is finally grieving. I'm angry with her simply for putting Robert through the pain in their relationship. I know that Robert was no angel, however, he didn't move in with someone else like his wife did. I have yet to grieve for Robert. Instead I grieve for his daughter without a father and for his father without a son, and especially for his father having had to see what a father should never see. At least he didn't take Butch with him.
Friday, May 22, 2009
The Southern Clan
Pat's whole family is coming up to visit this weekend starting today. They're coming to escape the mess the Robert left behind him when he killed himself. It's going to be an awkward time. Nephew hasn't been up here since Pat and I got married. Niece has never been up here. Brother and his wife haven't been up here in a year. They're going to rent a van and drive up together. Trouble-Maker won't be here. He prefers to spend time with his sea scout troop as opposed to seeing his family. Mini-Me can't wait to see them, he has such a strong attachment to Brother even though he's only seen him a handful of times.
Friday, May 15, 2009
New Computer
We bought a new computer. Pat came home from Lake Elsinore and we went out to dinner and bought a new computer. We ate at Chilis. The food sucked. It was a hard call on the computer. Pat wanted Windows XP for his backgammon game, so we could either buy an old computer or build one. Building would cost a lot of money so we bought one with XP on it. Pat is happy, he still has his XP games. The kids are happy, their games load again. They are happy, I am happy.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Pat is Coming Home
Pat called and said he is coming back today. Today is also Robert's funeral. I want him back and I'm glad he's coming back but I'm confused because I also want him to be there for Butch. I can't wait to see him.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Mother's Day
Today is Mother's Day. Trouble-Maker was with his friends. He called and told me that he was going to do stuff for Mother's day with Lisa and Nate's mom because they deserve a special Mother's day. Then he told me "It's not like it's a special day for you Mom". He loves to hurt me. That was really mean.
Pat is still down is SoCal with no end in site. I don't want to call them because I don't want to talk to them. Pat doesn't answer the cell phone. I need him and I hate him for not being here but he's needed down there.
Pat is still down is SoCal with no end in site. I don't want to call them because I don't want to talk to them. Pat doesn't answer the cell phone. I need him and I hate him for not being here but he's needed down there.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Robert
My nephew killed himself last night. I had to call Pat at work and tell him. Trouble-Maker still went to to Sea Scouts. He doesn't care about his family. His friends always come first. Pat is driving down now to be with them for who knows how long. I am mad at Robert for what he did to Butch. I will miss Pat. We've not been separated like this in the course of our marriage. I feel selfish for wanting him when I know Butch needs him.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Uncle Ray
My Great Uncle Ray is one of the few people on this planet that I will listen to. Because he speaks so reasonably and so jovially, it's hard not to go along with him especially as it all makes sense when ut in his unique fashion.
Ray is my grandfather's youngest brother and the middle child in his family. He had 2 older brothers and 2 younger sisters. He is an engineer, a farmer, a soldier and a carpenter. He is both rock and clown. I have a picture of him wearing a suit at his 50th wedding anniversary. He is dressed formally. Yet, by his stance with his hands in his pants with thumbs out, his back arched, and his jacket pushed back, he could be a cowboy.
He wanted to be a carpenter for many years. He even joined the union and made journeyman. Then he was drafted to serve in the Korean Conflict. His work experiences led the Army to assign him to the Corps of Engineers. Over there he somehow managed to knock out a front tooth. He always told the family that it happened when he was clowning around on a tank.
When Ray came marching home he decided that he wanted to be the one designing the buildings instead of building them, so in his early 20's he decided to go to Fresno State University to study engineering. He studied his courses on my grandparents kitchen table with my grandfather, the electrical engineer, helping him over the tough parts.
Of course, being single couldn't last forever. My family arranged for him to spend the summer rebuilding a porch at his brother's wife's family's cabin. They also arranged for his brother's sister-in-law to be up there all alone. They were engaged by Thanksgiving and married between Christmas and New Years.
Ray never stopped being a carpenter even after he obtained a position with Kings County as a civil engineer. He and his wife bought property to build a house. He would go to work during the day, and at night he would go inspect the construction. Always the kibbitzer, he would leave notes telling the carpenters what needed to changed, fixed, or completed. He would continue this habit 40 years later when he put and addition on his house.
Ray has had a couple of heart scares, and his wife is now suffering with Alzheimer's disease. Still he has a courageous smile and he continues to soldier on. He's has a tough life, but a full one and he'll always be a man I respect and love.
Ray is my grandfather's youngest brother and the middle child in his family. He had 2 older brothers and 2 younger sisters. He is an engineer, a farmer, a soldier and a carpenter. He is both rock and clown. I have a picture of him wearing a suit at his 50th wedding anniversary. He is dressed formally. Yet, by his stance with his hands in his pants with thumbs out, his back arched, and his jacket pushed back, he could be a cowboy.
He wanted to be a carpenter for many years. He even joined the union and made journeyman. Then he was drafted to serve in the Korean Conflict. His work experiences led the Army to assign him to the Corps of Engineers. Over there he somehow managed to knock out a front tooth. He always told the family that it happened when he was clowning around on a tank.
When Ray came marching home he decided that he wanted to be the one designing the buildings instead of building them, so in his early 20's he decided to go to Fresno State University to study engineering. He studied his courses on my grandparents kitchen table with my grandfather, the electrical engineer, helping him over the tough parts.
Of course, being single couldn't last forever. My family arranged for him to spend the summer rebuilding a porch at his brother's wife's family's cabin. They also arranged for his brother's sister-in-law to be up there all alone. They were engaged by Thanksgiving and married between Christmas and New Years.
Ray never stopped being a carpenter even after he obtained a position with Kings County as a civil engineer. He and his wife bought property to build a house. He would go to work during the day, and at night he would go inspect the construction. Always the kibbitzer, he would leave notes telling the carpenters what needed to changed, fixed, or completed. He would continue this habit 40 years later when he put and addition on his house.
Ray has had a couple of heart scares, and his wife is now suffering with Alzheimer's disease. Still he has a courageous smile and he continues to soldier on. He's has a tough life, but a full one and he'll always be a man I respect and love.
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